Tight Writing Gets Published

Editors demand tight writing, and anything less will not get read. Ideas should be packed into compact sentences that make every word count, or you will find the words “tighten this,” or “too loose” scribbled on your manuscript. Loose writing contains extra and unnecessary articles, repetition, passive verbs, and wordy phrases.

A tight piece of work is so concise that not a single word can be removed without altering the meaning. Don’t worry about this in your first draft. By now you realize that good writing requires revision. Tight writing takes determination and practice, but I’ve created four simple steps to make trimming the fat easier.

1. Eliminate Extra Words

   Examine each sentence and eliminate every unnecessary word. Tight writing aims for brevity, so combine sentences to remove repetition and to make the writing dense and compact. Don’t write: “All the pieces of furniture were emptied out of the truck and taken into the inside of the apartment. Inside, Greta found a place for each piece.” Instead, write: “The movers emptied the truck and took the furniture into the apartment, where Greta arranged each piece.” In this example, I eliminated ten words. Perhaps you can eliminate more. Make a game of this. Resolve to cut each paragraph you write in half as you revise. The results may surprise you.

2. Choose Active Not Passive Verbs

   Note how, in the revision above, the “movers emptied the truck.” This change does away with the passive verb construction “were emptied.” Restructuring the sentence to name those taking action reduces wordiness and makes writing more interesting. “There are” is another unnecessary and passive verb construction. Don’t write: “There are many lights dotting the city landscape.” Instead, write: “Many lights dotted the city landscape.”

3. Resist Adverbs

   Adverbs rarely add anything of value to a sentence. They describe weak verbs, so choose stronger verbs and forget the adverb. Don’t write: “Her fingers moved clumsily over the coins.” Write: “She fumbled with the coins.” Adverbs are worse in dialogue and take the place of genuine action. Don’t write: "'Never,' she shouted angrily." First, shouting suggests anger, so the addition of “angrily” is redundant. Second, if the emotion is important enough to note, show readers the anger, don’t tell them about it. Here is a possible alternative:

   "She slapped her palm on the table. ‘Never,’ she shouted."

4. Be Specific

   Tight writing never uses the words “thing” or “things.” Don’t write: “He put some things in his backpack and strode out the door. Readers want to know what he took with him, and when you reveal the items he chose, you also build his character. A character who packs a gun and a pair of leather gloves is more menacing than one who chooses his favourite notebook and several ball point pens. Be specific. Don’t write: “Something happened that left her feeling uneasy.” Write: “She heard the floor creak and turned in time to see the curtains flutter.” Do a search for “thing,” “something,” and “somehow.” These are the usual culprits in vague writing.

These four techniques may not guarantee tight writing, but with consistent practice they will help you identify and eliminate a great deal of "flabbiness." Challenge yourself to cut everywhere you can, and take pleasure in each word eliminated because the tighter your writing, the better your chances of publication.

Finally, here’s a specific, engaging, and interesting paragraph that needs only a bit of tightening to work well, used with permission from the manuscript of a writer I mentored:

"Moving from pile to pile, Susan’s search uncovers items of clothing that she has forgotten she owns, a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and one favorite pink sock; she clothes herself as she moves.

This room was originally liquor storage until a new space was added, elevating the alcohol to the upstairs and the dancers came down to the basement. It was a step up from the filthy staff bathrooms they were using. The bathroom toilet leaked, at least the liquor room has a dry floor."

My comments:

You can reduce this from 86 words to 70 by joining and rearranging the sentences.

Perhaps something like:

”Susan moves from pile to pile in what had been a liquor storage room, before the manager elevated alcohol to upstairs and moved dancers to the basement. Susan's search uncovers clothing she has forgotten she owns, a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and one favourite pink sock. She clothes herself as she moves. At least the floor is dry, unlike the filthy dampness of the staff washroom, with its leaking toilet.”

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